Who Defines You?

sad-woman-behind-maskby Cristin Patterson, LLPC, NCC

Most of us are living busy, on-the-go lives.  We are often juggling our schedules and trying to make ends meet.  We know that with one wrong move we risk dropping one of the balls, causing everything else to fall apart.  Sometimes it can feel like problem after problem…  Once one problem is managed another problem presents itself, causing us to feel burdened with a lack of control over what happens in our lives.  We are often stretching ourselves so thin in order to meet the demands we put on ourselves, as well as demands from others, and we just feel helpless to know what to do to change our circumstances.

So how do we take back our lives and begin to feel more in control?  First off, we need to be self-aware and know who we are.  Seems simple right?  We should “know” who we are; but quite often we don’t.  Knowing who we are requires some investigation, exploration, and honesty.  If you do not define and know who you are—others will decide for you.  Then we are living our lives for what we believe we “should” be doing, or what is “expected” and “demanded” of us by others.  We lose track of who we are trying to please and we depend on others to provide our happiness.  Eventually we forget about our own self-worth and try to gain it by pleasing others in order to be liked and to feel worthy.

Statements like “I must,” “I can’t,” or “I have to” begin to fool us into thinking we no longer have a choice in the matter.  Eventually we lose who we are intended to be, and at the same time we have created a mask that we wear for others.  This facade that we present to others can—over time—lead us to feeling fearful that we will eventually be exposed and our true selves will be discovered.  Knowing who you are allows you to move forward in your life and not be left oblivious and confused –wondering why these things keep on happening?  Lack of self-awareness can trap us into engaging in repetitive cycles causing us to feel like we are going in circles chasing one thing or fixing another.

How can counseling help? Counseling can offer a safe place to take that public face off and really explore who you are.  Counselors have access to several assessment tools that help identify and explain your unique personality.  Counseling can assist you in defining who you are and who you are intended to be as a whole person.    When you know who you are and why you are here, you can begin to live your life with more purpose and greater intention.  As a result, you are able to gain more confidence and a greater sense of empowerment in your life and your relationships.

Trinity Family Counseling Center
45445 Mound Rd, Suite 111 Shelby TwpMI48317 USA 
 • 586-254-3663

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